Title: Who’s Your Caddy?
Genre: Comedy/Sport/Plagiarism
Cast: Big Boi, Faizon Love, Jeffrey Jones …
Director: Don Michael Paul
Release: (2007)
The “story” (if you can call a hodgepodge of boilerplate plot points from crappy 80’s movies, piled on top of a premise brazenly looted from Caddyshack a story) is about a bunch of wild and crazy, black guys who want to join a golf club run by snooty white guys, and – if you can believe this – hilarious hi-jinks ensue. When the the black guys first show up they’re all like, “Whazzup!?”, and the white guys are all like “Harumph, harrumph, harrumph, harrumph.” Then the black guys are all, “Say what?”, and the white guys are all, “Ahem, Harvard and Yale and Protestantism.” So then the black guys leave, but they’re thinking, “A’ight, a’ight.” And the white guys are all clinking their glasses together over a model for the new toxic waste dump and bullet factory they’re planning to build over the old orphanage and laugh like, “Whhoooohooooohoo, whhoooohooooohoo, whhoooohooooo HA-HA-HA!”
But what they don’t know, is the black guys are about to come back on them and be all like, “Mo’ money, mo’money, mo’money!” And then the white guys all spit out their brandy and say things like, “Outrageous!” and “Nixon was a great man!” So then they all put their heads together and start whispering like, “Pssst, pssst, pssst, pssst, tax sheltered annuities, pssst, pssst.” But while they’re doing that, the white guys’ hot, unsatisfied young wives are making eyes at the black guys, going, “Grrrrrrrrr”, and their kids are trying to get their autographs and asking “What up, homies, did I say that right?” Then there are a bunch of scenes with all kinds of hip hop honeys in bikinis pop and dropping all over the place for some reason. And finally, they all decide to bet everything they’ve ever cared about in their entire lives on some kind of contest that the black guys have never done before and the white guys are condescendingly overconfident in. But in the end (************SPOILER ALERT************) the black guys are all like, “Awwww, yeeeeah! Tiger-Tiger-Tiger Woods, y’all!” and the white guys are all like, “Bu-, bu-, bu-, Arnold … Palmer…” And the black guys end up taking the white guys’ golf course, wives, kids and cigars, and generally proving to the world that the white guys were all just a pack evil, soulless, gassy, impotent, cat-punchers.
Speaking as someone who has already admitted that I kind of liked this movie, I would say that that is an entirely fair and accurate synopsis. And, yes, my meditation has led me to see now that the path I must follow is to embrace the truth and accept the consequences, come what may. And so, here, now before all of you I, Rosebert “Rosie” Rosenrose, am here to declare that in the matter of the almost universally reviled, largely pointless, insultingly stereotypical, and predictably forgettable film Who’s Your Caddy?: I didn’t totally hate this movie. I laughed out loud more than one (but less than five) times. All of them were at one actor (Faizon Love), and three of them were at the same joke. But still, I can’t in all good conscience just give this film the thorough skewering I might have been expecting to. There I said it.
But before you attack with your onslaught of groans and gasps and finger-pointy disbelief, just remember, my closet is empty now. I have no shame admitting to this, so you should believe me when I tell you that I have nothing left to hide. I don’t have any Michael Bolton secretly labeled as Dropkick Murphys songs on my mp3 player. I can’t stand reality TV and have no embarrassing history with Melrose Place or The O.C.. Can you say the same thing? The bottom line is that every now and then, we all pick up guilty pleasures here and there that we just can’t explain. We don’t choose them, they choose us. Statistics show, and my judgment would agree, that you probably won’t like this film. In fact, you probably will hate this film. But I have to say, I didn’t.
Grading
Story: F
Acting: D+
Visuals: C
Originality/Innovation: F
Enjoyability: C for me / Probably F for you
Overall: D+
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