Hot Rod
Genre: Comedy
Cast: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader…
Director: Akiva Schaffer
Release: (2007)
Category 3: Supporting Cast
HR: Someone named Jorma Taccone as Rod’s step brother, someone named Danny McBride as one of his semi-retarded buddies and fellow SNLer Bill Hader as the other one. Eh. (2 points)
BM: Someone named Jared Cook who hits a solid triple in movie history as the big-goggled third-grade nerd Ernie, and the inimitable Norm McDonald as one of Billy’s semi-retarded buddies. Ahhh. (5 points)
Advantage: Billy Madison
Category 4: Quotability
HR: Kimble’s catchphrases are not catchy but, perhaps true to his character, he painfully insists on forcing the issue and repeatedly presses them to try to make us forget that they’re not funny and start parroting them in Facebook quotes and online Halo missions ad nauseum. As in: “You’re number 1.” (Say, that’s a mildly unusual and humorous usage of that phrase.) “That’s number 1” (Ok, we get it. You say things are ‘number 1’, that’s your thing you do.) “It’s number 1.” (Kind of getting annoying, Samberg.) “He’s number 1.” (For the love of God will you stop saying that! Just shut up, please! Shut. Up.) “She’s number 1.”(Oh, HA! I get it – things are number 1! HAAAA, freaking sweet, bro. Dude, I gotta call my buddy Fish and drop that on him. ‘He’s number 1’, wow, that is freaking number 1!). (The number of points you get for this is number 1).
BM: The quotes and catchphrases Madison produced in this movie came fast, furious, and organically – almost never forced or repeated. Without requiring constant repetition, the vast majority of them took on a life of their own among fans based on their own merit (a term used very relatively in this context). Just off the top of my head:
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f*&#ing dog!”
“It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around. I gotta send you back to the South Pole”
“He’s gonna be a soccer player. Yes he is, yes he is…”
“No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.”
“Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
“You know how badly I could beat you, right?”
“Stop looking at me, swan.”
And so on. I could go on with these for another three pages, but you get the point. It’s just no contest. If you want to make your own judgment just read this page versus this page, and you tell me which one is funnier. (5 points – One, two, three, four, five. Five points, in perfect counting. Got any more brain-busters?.)
Advantage: Billy Madison
Category 5: Randomly inserted musical numbers
HR: Taking this page right out of Sandler’s old playbook, Samberg includes one random scene of him dancing to some cheesy 80’s song, and then another big, original musical number. Both were pretty lame, but in all fairness he did add a clever and somewhat self-deprecating twist to the ending of the musical number. Seeing as this was one of only six legitimate laughs I found in this movie (I actually started counting them just to have something to keep me interested), I’ll give him some bonus points for this. (3 points)
BM: Because it’s been done to death so many times since then (The Forty Year Old Virgin, anything produced by Lorne Michaels, etc.), we tend to forget now how funny these musical scenes in Billy Madison were at the time. He may not have invented this either but, again, it wasn’t overdone yet at the time and hadn’t been seen in a while. And more than a dozen years later, they still hold up as the gold standard of well-placed, well-executed, low-brow, juvenile schtick. Adam’s original cheesy 80’s dance scene out of nowhere was about a third as long as the ridiculous production in Hot Rod, and at least three times funnier. Let this be a lesson Andy, sometimes in comedy less is more. But in this contest, more is more, and Adam’s getting more points. (5 points)
Advantage: Billy Madison
Total Scores:
HR: 13 earned, +10 handicap = 23 points
BM: 25 points
Of course I like Billy Madison, everyone my age likes Billy Madison, it’s the coolest! And even with a ten point handicap, Hot Rod can’t measure up to the classic it fails miserably to recreate. Hey Hot Rod, you’re number 2! (That’s quacktastic. Quack, quack, quack.)
Grading
Story: D
Acting: D
Visuals: C
Originality/Innovation: F
Enjoyability: D
Overall: D
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