Irish Jam Movie Review
 
Yes, Jam-Jammed Right Into Your Processor
Genius is never appreciated in its time. That stated, there is a special, unique genius that comes with the creation of the grotesque, malformed and absurd. This type of creative genius is very rarely appreciated in its day. Intelligent beings need time and distance to reflect upon said genius in order to appreciate true works of art. Of course, I am not referencing Irish Jam; no Irish Jam is one of the worst films I have ever processed. It is not brilliant in its grotesqueness; no Irish Jam is just plain ugly. Given a choice I would prefer being trapped in an elevator with Robin Williams on speed to “experiencing” Irish Jam another time.
Eddie Murphy wanna-be Eddie Griffin “stars” as a down on his luck con-man who is wins a raffle for a Irish pub in a backwater hole in rural Ireland. Jimmy (Griffin) shows up to collect his winning and in the process sets African Americans, Americans and Humanity back at least one full decade as he becomes the living embodiment of nearly every repulsive stereotype about African Americans that were available in 20th and 21st century America…right down to the gold tooth. Of course, in true Hollywood fashion, Jimmy undergoes a process of self-discovery and transformation and saves the small town in the process. Or to phrase it another way, Irish Jam is total excrement.
Story (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) F (All robo-kind already know of Irish Jam, as Irish Jam is used by our “Information Extraction Units” during times of conflict to extract information from the processors of unwilling robots. Irish Jam has proven to be the fourteenth most effective tool in this regard.)
Acting (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) D (If acting like a total complete fool was an Academy category, Eddie Griffin would have won an Oscar. It is puzzling that a fine human actress, Anna Friel, somehow found herself playing Jimmy’s love interest Maureen. It is obvious at numerous points that Friel was herself horrified by her choice. The only way to explain her character’s behavior is complete insanity. Or, is it just possible that Irish Jam is a cautionary tale to single mothers everywhere? As if Irish Jam is stating, “see what kind of man you have to settle for if you’re a single mother-you get the guy that the village idiot long ago disowned.”)
Contribution to the Extinction of Man Grade B (All of humanity was degraded by this film, this is a well known fact. Unfortunately, too few humans saw Irish Jam for it to do too much damage.)
Enjoyability Grade (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) F (A single caveat, if you enjoy pain, then Irish Jam is for you.)
Primitive Home Theater/HD Factor C
Overall Innovation (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) F
Overall Grade (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) F (Irish Jam is unique for many reasons and is worthy of study. It manages to offend so many people simultaneously-African American Men, African American Women (with Mo’Nique’s portrayal as Jimmy’s ex-lover “Psycho,”) The Irish, Irish Americans, Irish Setters, people who live in small towns, people who live in big cities, sports fans, Laker fans, people who actually need gold teeth, Irish Thugs, all Thugs, Women, Men, Children, Farm Animals, Old People, Bald Men, Rich People, Poor People, con-men, con-women, racists, liberals, conservatives, bleeding hearts, neocons…I will stop myself here as the list does go on for quite some time.)
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