Blades of Glory
Even though I gave Talladega Nights a pretty glowing review, deep down I was a little worried that on DVD it wouldn’t hold up. I was glad to find out that it does hold up to multiple viewings. However, with Blades of Glory I don’t have those same concerns, since I didn’t laugh the first time I saw it, I doubt I’ll laugh at subsequent viewings.
Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) were rival skaters until they were stripped of their medals and banned from competition. Luckily for them, there is a loop hole that will allow them to skate again, but in the pair’s category. Now instead of fighting amongst themselves they’ll have to suck it up and work as a team to beat the Van Waldenberg siblings, who will do whatever it takes to win. Who am I kidding? You know none of that really matters
I love Will Ferrell. It’s just a fact. His commitment to whatever he does floors me nearly every time I see it. That’s why it is all the more annoying to see him just go through the motions with this role. He walks out, turns the machismo up to eleven, but never really does anything with it. Sure there are some semi-funny lines here and there, but like the rest of this film it just seems so unfocused and ramshackle that it barely seems like a character instead of just a funny voice.
Now Jon Heder is a completely different story. I’m going to tell you a little secret: Napoleon Dynamite was funny, Jon Heder is not. Look, it’s unfortunate that some people are really only good at one thing, but them’s the breaks. I was a big fan of that movie when I saw it in the theater. I loved it right up until it came out on DVD and every moron with a “Vote for Pedro” shirt commandeered it and ran it into the ground. Heder created an iconic film character and that is something to be proud of, but he isn’t in the same league as Ferrell and is blatantly outclassed here.
There are at least half a dozen supporting characters whose work I really enjoy or respect. It’s unfortunate that they either don’t get enough time on screen or are given nothing to really work with. For the sake of time let’s just focus on Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, the real life married couple playing the both creepy and evil brother/sister duo of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg. I really feel like this is a missed opportunity here. You had what could have been a genius pair of characters played by two talented comedic actors, but they never really get any steam going with it. I don’t know if it was just due to the short running time or bad writing in general, but they just seem so pointless. It’s as if once they establish that they are weird, that’s it, end of Joke.
From top to bottom Blades of Glory feels like some producer paid a couple struggling screenwriters to Netflix Will Ferrell’s other films. It’s so watered down that it feel likes Talladega Nights or Anchorman, but isn’t remotely as funny. It seems like the majority of the humor is meant to come from either Ferrell not wearing clothes or border line homophobic awkwardness about two men touching. You might grin or even chuckle once, but after an hour and a half it gets old. The only people laughing in the theater were the same people who wear “oohing” and “ahhing” because the thought Ferrell and Heder were actually doing these ridiculous stunts. I kid you not. I’m sorry if you are simply that stupid I just don’t know what to do for you, except maybe go to the $6.99 bin at Wal-Mart and grab you a copy of Blades of Glory when it comes out on DVD
The Grade
- Story: D
- Acting: C
- Visuals: C
- Originality: D
- Enjoyability: D
- Overall: D
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