Star Wars: The Clone Wars Movie Review
Star Wars: The Clone Wars-Ticket Buyer, Don’t Let Anyone Bitch Slap You Like That!
My loyal readers, who I love dearly, know that I often pen fairly long reviews, well, not this time. I cannot write a long, detailed review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, because I do not write reviews of television programs. Now, with that said, that doesn’t mean I am opposed to reviewing television shows, its just that I will not dignify a television show masquerading as a film with a review.
If you don’t know by now, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is sort of the ultimate insult to the movie going public. You see, George Lucas somehow believes that it is morally feasible to charge people for a ticket when the exact same content will be on television only months later. This is my understanding of the situation. However, if I am wrong and this is not the case, I will retract my statements and write a MOVIE review of The Clone Wars. I doubt that will be happening as I have read from numerous sources that The Clone Wars is simply the first three episodes of the television series smashed together. In my view, it is repulsive to scam the public in this fashion; yet, there is a silver lining. It appears that the word got around concerning The Clone Wars and people are not showing up for this joke.
Wasn’t this all rather predictable? I mean isn’t this disaster, ultimately, a foregone conclusion? No matter what crap Lucas tossed out of his holier than thou anus, sad pitiful idiots kept giving him money. The three-prequel movies were very weak overall and very disappointing by any adult standard, but they made Lucas even wealthier. The Clone Wars, however, is a new low and a new kind of slap in the face. But why oh why George? Why would Lucas release a piece of sh*t like The Clone Wars-and what a fitting title by the way, as the script is a clone as well, but again, why? This garbage is aimed at kids and, of course, morons who could care less about quality science fiction and entertainment. Lucas and Lucasfilm MBA’s want a vehicle/platform they can use to suck in a young crowd. Why else is this joke on The Cartoon Network? This one seems transparent and it should be of no shock to anyone at this stage.
Lucas has been about one thing since the beginning-the money. Those of you still clutching to your emotional ties and deeply rooted childhood Star Wars bonds should dump them and in a hurry. Most importantly, however, for those of you with kids, keep them away from this crap, and force Lucasfilm to get off their collective asses and work a little. The Clone Wars symbolizes all that is wrong with mass marketed, mass consumed science fantasy, no it is not science fiction, in that it does not explore ideas or concepts, it does not propel mankind to dream or explore. No, Star Wars and The Clone Wars have become solely focused on consumerism and little else. Lucas has done a masterful job of exposing himself as a total, complete and utter hack, an embarrassment who has exploited the hard work of visual effects geniuses and pioneers for decades-a parasite of sorts.
I won’t grade The Clone Wars, but will give George Lucas a C- for his work starting with the prequels, perhaps this is too generous at that, but the nostalgia still lingers…much like the stench of this so-called “film” The Clone Wars. Don’t pay for what will be on television in a few weeks-dear movie fan don’t let anyone bitch slap you like that. Yes, not even the great and almighty Oz-ur I mean George.
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