Star Trek: Nemesis-You’ve Been Bermanized
Oh where to begin with this Intergalatic Turkey Trek. Trekkers, please. I want to stop all the Trekkers or Trekkies, etc from even considering defending this masterturd theater. What the hell is wrong with these guys. It is, seriously, as if Rick Berman woke up one morning many years ago and said, “you know what I’m going to wipe my ass with this multi-billion dollar cash cow extreme. I am going to take these idiots that are into this crap and throw them, each one down an elevator shaft.” He then took his feet off the back of one of his executive assistants and said, “take a note, destroy Star Trek.” Then he had breakfast, probably something loaded down with cholesterol, smoked at least one cigarette, then started abusing the army of boot lickers he employees, before abusing the real creative geniuses, namely the CG people that attempt to distract the audience from the incredibly turdy scripts they are given with excellent CG. Paramount pay these folks more, not the Rick Bermans.
There is so much wrong with this train wreck that it unique to review. So who do we have to blame for this masterpiece. What a shocker Rick Berman was one of the writers, along with Brent Spiner–yes the actor who plays Data, and a chap by the name of John Logan, who had a hand in numerous fine scripts, but Logan has shown no ability to write a quality science-fiction script. These guys dropped the ball. Why? Okay, caveman summary: Picard find out Romulans cloned Picard, this Picard young, bald, sexy, evil, crew find another Data–again. Are they serious? No wonder Berman thinks Star Trek has run its course and there are no more stories to tell–which I believe he was quoted as saying. Yipes, Paramount, what is up? Do you realize how much cash is on the line here? Do you realize how much money this “Star Trek stuff” is worth? Try billions. Every movie you release, if done fairly well, it doesn’t have to be great, just good, is worth, oh say, $350 to $500 million dollars box office gross. And here is the funny part, if you do them well the fans will go once maybe even twice a year. This is a puzzle.
I suspect, but do not know, only suspect that what is going on here with Berman and many of the others involved is a contempt for the product. Any movie is a product and how can you have to be a very good salesman to sell something that you do not believe in or that you think is crap. Most of these chaps are big on ego, but they are not THAT good of a salesman, few are. But, what is an even better way to create a quality product is if you like what you are selling, especially if it is an idea or a concept. Many of the people working on the Star Trek film, I suspect, are treating the job much like a stock trader moving some coffee futures. You can’t treat ideas and experiences the same way as you treat coffee futures or selling lumber. The commodity you are trading is entertainment. In this particular case the fan base is uniquely knowledgeable about the product, the movie, you are trying to sell them. There is an inherent disrespect for the audience to toss out such silly scripts. It sort of says, “here you go you dirty beast eat this slop up. You’ll eat anything won’t you.” Not cool.
Then there is the issue of the director. Stuart Baird, Stuart–I have never met a Stuart I like, but hey, this guy might be nice, but one thing is for sure, he is in the wrong line of work. It is obvious this fellow doesn’t care for science-fiction and doesn’t understand Star Trek.
The acting is decent, the actors go through the motion yet another time. Look closely and you can see their uninterested detachment and disappointment with the material they’ve been given. Honestly, it can’t be easy to know your bosses are throwing you career down the same elevator shaft that they have tossed the fans. Really, it must suck, so let’s give them a pass if they are looking a look uninterested or even depressed, for they understand what a cash cow this should be for themselves included.
Maybe I am wrong about many of my assertions, but one thing is for sure, the fans did not show up for this film. Now, in all fairness the look of the film, for its roughly $60-$70 million dollar budget is fine, not great but fine. The original Shrek was around the same budget, so a lot can be done with $60 or $70 million dollars. Certainly, once all the money is added up they will not lose money, remember very few major Hollywood releases actually lose money when all the money from the global pipeline comes flowing in. Ultimately, Nemesis falls into the ever growing bin of pretty looking movies that suck. Why is this happening so much? I don’t have all the answers and even if I did, I’m just some guy on the internet and they wouldn’t listen anyway. But one reason we keep seeing so many pretty movies that suck is that the powers that be are convinced that you the American consumer is a box of rocks with a wallet. You will clap like a trained seal for whatever crap they crank out, regardless of how offensive it may be. Apparently Rick Berman has a “nemesis” of his own–its you the movie going public. This movie is really a slap in the face to Star Trek fans and it is an insult to the intelligence of all of us. Step aside or start doing some work.
Story D
Acting C- (But excusable due to rare extenuating circumstances.)
Visuals B+ (The unthanked underpaid slaves that their work stations tried once again to save the audience from being Bermanized.)
Originality/Innovation F (I wonder if Berman recycles at home as well.)
Enjoyability Grade D+ (Even with all the nice CG it is irritating to watch.)
Home Theater/HD Factor B
Overall Grade D+ (Insulting all the way around.)
|
