Signs-Yeah, There’s a Sign Alright...Movie Industry is in Trouble.
Warning: I rarely do spoilers, but I can’t review Shamalamadingdong’s latest masterpiece without giving away the brilliant, unbelievable mind-bending secrets contained within.
M. Night Shamalamadingdong strikes again with Signs. This time he helps himself to the box-office hit Independence Day, but only this time, he asks the “powerful” question, “what would the alien invasion be like from the low budget perspective of a farm house, with some backwater yahoos?” Yeah, powerful stuff. In this current era of movie making it doesn’t take too much to stand out, but Signs, fails to stand out. Are you ready for the plot? So here is the plot: Independence Day on a farm house, crop circles, some “losing my religion” silliness and aliens stop by, yeah he’s a genius alright. Pure genius.
Does the movie do a respectable job building suspense? Sure, to the point where you are a little bored in fact. But its okay, he’s a genius, he knows what he’s doing.
I know your thinking, “there must be more to this film than what your describing.” Yeah, Shamalamadingdong mixes in some crap about Reverend Graham Ness played by Mel Gibson, losing his religion, which I guess is suppose to tie all of this together, but it seems so recycled, as does the sick kid, getting sick at the wrong time to build tension are you serious? This just isn’t Shamalamadingdong’s best work by a long shot.
The brief amounts of creature sightings are good and the crop circles are at time somewhat interesting. But your left unmoved by the characters and unmoved by the whole film. Honestly, this is like a 16 year old wrote it who wasn’t even trying–okay a bright 16 year old who was trying somewhat. Fine.
Signs is not horrible, its just so very obvious that everyone involved was going through the motions and that Shamalamadingdong’s ego is just to big, perhaps even for Hollywood. Another important point-stay out of your movies Night you can’t act! I just had to say that and yes I could do a better job acting than he does and so could you. Night tuck your freaking ego back into your body, admit that there is something you can’t do and cut it the hell out!
Yes I am venting, but before you conclude that I am being to hard on good old Night, please note one fact, namely that I am not even really touching on the fake severely ego-driven documentary he pawned off on the Sci-Fi Channel. Explain this. His first film Praying with Anger cost almost a million bucks, yet made almost nothing. Night then gets funding for a second film, Wide Awake, which cost $5-$7 million and made somewhere around-nothing. Yet, somehow, he gets funding for a third film–from Disney. Disney gives him $40 or $50 million dollars to make The Sixth Sense. Interesting isn’t it. Seems like Night had, and has, an endless supply of chances whether he is making economic sense for studios or not. Where’s is that endless supply of chances line? And is there still room for one more?
Hopefully folks will start just saying no to Night’s bag of tricks and borrowed stories and let younger more innovative minds work. In the end, once the credits have rolled, you’re kind of left wondering, “how exactly did this guy start getting the big budgets to begin with?” This script should never have been greenlighted and in this simple fact resides the real “sign” as to exactly how much trouble Hollywood is in. But hey, at least he didn’t give his kid a writing credit (see Sharkboy and Lavagirl).
Story C- (Much of the core story is heavily borrowed from other works.)
Acting C (I showed up and they gave me a paycheck.)
Visuals C+ (At times there are some decent visuals.)
Originality/Innovation C-
Enjoyability Grade C-
Home Theater/HD Factor B-
Overall Grade C-
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