The Pink Panther-Casting via Celebrity Rags and Darts
As we all know with complete clarity at this point, or at least for god’s sake you should, it is that all the Hollywood Studio System cares about is money, and the occasional lackluster attempt at social commentary and engineering, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the primary goal of making money that is. Well, not too worry, there are no real attempts at social engineering in The Pink Panther, and if there is, wow it is over my head. No, what you have with this masterpiece is a pure, old-fashioned money grab, just the way the studio executives like it.
Overall, I am a Steve Martin fan, and Martin was one of the writers on the film. That said, however, this pic just doesn’t deliver. Of course, you are not looking for substance with a Pink Panther film, you’re just looking for laughs, and at times The Pink Panther has them…here and there. Obviously, that is problem for The Pink Panther is just not that funny overall, as the entire project seems unnatural and forced.
A big part of the problem is that Martin is wrong as Inspector Jacques Clouseau, as would be any known actor. What this flick really needed was a new face, supported by a star cast, but I fear the egos must have gotten in the way. Kevin Kline is good as the villain Dreyfus and likewise Jean Reno plays a good sidekick, but as always, Reno is playing Jean Reno. Let’s face it this guy is sort of famous for being famous, don’t you think? Then, there is the whole issue of Beyonce Knowles as the love interest. The problem with casting here is obvious; she is playing a relatively nice, simple girl, totally unbelievable people, totally. No Beyonce, if we must be subjected to her, MUST play the villain, plain and simple, end of story. She doesn’t have the talent to play a nice person, just forget it, okay Hollywood, you’re only hurting your own money making machines with moves like this one with Beyonce, who of course, plays a singer in the movie. You can imagine my eyes rolling here as I type.
It should be obvious, why I don’t think this panther is too sexy. The script is pretty lame and the casting borders on horrible and definitely comes across as being weird. The whole thing is just, uncomfortable. That said, its not uncomfortable like any of Eddie Murphy’s recent clusterf**k’s but it is such a let down. However, as always the name recognition carries the day and that is why this flick pulled in over $150 million dollars across the globe. More likely than not we will see this “reinvisioning” (why we need this is a different story) of The Pink Panther once again with a sequel or two, but the real point here, is that we the audience deserve better than another Pink Panther movie, let alone a sequel. Dear god when does it end?
Story D (Oh sure the story has a laugh from time to time, but watch enough user created internet videos and eventually you’ll get a chuckle as well. Big difference is most of those “creations” have about one ten-millionth the budget, at the most. Why do people keep going to these sub par sequels and remakes when they know they are going to be bland or even dreadful?)
Acting C (Martin does a good job, but should have never taken the part. Beyonce is horrible in her part. This casting move was just unkind for an audience that paid good money. Let her cut her teeth in a high-school play, alright? Based upon her performance in The Pink Panther alone, one would have to conclude that she couldn’t act, “a lick.” I suspect that casting is done these days with torn out copies of celebrity rags and darts.)
Visuals B- (Surprisingly, the film is well shot, there is some good costuming and set design as well. Truly a surprise actually, and it does, at times make up for what the film is lacking in other areas. In fact there is a costuming bit with Martin and Reno near the end of the film, that nearly makes up for some of the earlier underachieving.)
Originality/Innovation F (Increasingly, it seems as if big-budget Hollywood flicks see innovation much as a vampire sees, or smells garlic. I wonder if innovative scripts must send Hollywood executives into cold sweats and panic attacks similar to their failed attempts at rehab. While they would never admit that they hate innovation, it scary you know, but the proof is in their work, in what they “greenlight.”)
Enjoyability Grade C- (If you are a fan you will probably be disappointed and if you are not a fan you will probably be even more disappointed.)
Home Theater/HD Factor B (Some of the work that went into the film will be appreciated in high-def.)
Overall Grade C- (Sure this grade could be a bit lower, but as I am a Steve Martin fan, and the film does have a few funny moments, The Pink Panther passes with a C- by a whisker.)
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