Miami Vice-Like Having Your Head In A Vice
Ponder this for a moment. If there was a subversive working within the movie industry, trying to destroy the film business, could they really be any happier than having a studio give Michael Mann hundreds of millions of dollars to direct an action film? He just doesn’t know what to do with the money and should stick with directly smaller, safer films. This film was so much worse than I expected. I was seriously stunned. Now, with that said, I expected very, precious little out of a Miami Vice The Movie. Why? Do you really need to ask that question? It is a Miami Vice The Movie! Given, a Miami Vice movie was bound to be foolish fluff and when I heard that the powers that be were making a feature film, I just assumed we were talking Ben Stiller comedy vehicle. Nope, they tried to go “all serious” with it, and it sucks.
Let’s just establish that the script is garbage. Honestly, its just a series of rehashed stuff you’ve seen a million times before, that is when you can actually follow the convoluted action, when there is action. For an action film there is a whole lot of talk in this one. Perhaps, Mann was trying to show us that he could direct a film that was simultaneously about blowing stuff apart and the human condition- he can’t. With Miami Vice, the audience is given a bloated, long film that is far lighter on the action and fun than people were probably expecting.
As for Colin Farrell as Crockett, where to begin? Crockett, is a silly character, that is a given, but Farrell’s “interpretation” of Crockett is sort of like the interpretation one would get in an acting class—in an insane asylum. Jamie Foxx as Tubbs, is dull, flat, sad. A boring script and boring acting performances, oh what fun.
At no point in the film can any honest person look on the screen and say, “this look like a $130 million dollar film.” You can’t do it, only Hollywood insiders that THINK they understand the BUSINESS can look up on the screen and say the money is reflected. It’s not. If you are a frequent reader of my reviews you know what $130 million dollars well spent can buy you in the film business, if you use your money wisely. But, Miami Vice is still a blockbuster. Why? Well, as usual, it’s obvious, the studio exploited name recognition and in all honesty, sort of sucker punched the audiences. Fans of the television series might have not expected too much, but they were at least expecting some escapist action and fun. They got little of either. Seeing a guy ripped apart by a high power sniper rifle, I don’t know Mann, you’ve got to do better than this, or sooner or later the Hollywood gods will find someone else to deliver the circuses to the masses. Then again, you’ll probably be retiring soon anyway, right?
Story D (The script written by Michael Mann is completely lacking, but its not totally his fault as few could have penned a brilliant script around Crockett and Tubbs. I know many Hollywood wanna be’s might think they can, but seriously, Crockett and Tubbs, folks. Crockett and Tubbs. A good script maybe, a brilliant one, one the studios would have signed off on and not been afraid of, pretty unlikely.)
Acting D (The acting was more like a Internet parody video than the real deal. What were these guys thinking.)
Visuals B (The visuals were okay, here and there, but lacked the visual sizzle that most were probably expecting.)
Originality/Innovation F (Well, I don’t think I have seen a guy ripped apart in slow-mo by a sniper rifle before, but other than that...)
Enjoyability Grade D (Considering the vast sum of money that was spent on this film, watching Miami Vice was much like having my head placed in a vice.)
Home Theater/HD Factor B
Overall Grade D (Disappointing from beginning to end and way too long.)
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