Lady in the Water-My Last Shamalammadingdong review?
Okay, let's say you are supposedly a genius. Let's say you have been criticized for being a pompous ass. Now, would it make ANY sense at all, to cast yourself as a writer who discovers that his writings about the nature of life, politics and so forth will change the world? Does that make any sense at all? Any? This is what our old buddy Night did in Lady in the Water. Night essentially takes what should have been a decent 15-20 minute short and he pulls and tugs at it until he extracts an entire feature that mostly has the feel of a fairly well done independent film. Now, for $65-$75 million dollars that is a problem. That is about the budget of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow or nearly twice the budget of Sin City. Huh? Seriously. Yes, seriously.
Wasting a studios money aside, the film centers on a building manager named Cleveland who finds a young girl named Story, played well-enough by Bryce Dallas Howard, who has mysterious abilities and is being pursued by some nasty wolf-like creatures. Howard, does a respectable job in the film, but is completely not the right woman for this part, but that is the least of Lady in the Water's problems. To say more would really be to give away a great deal of the plot and there would be very little reason to actually see this film, which minus spoilers is barely worth a rental. The mystery does unfold, in a painfully slow fashion and most the revelations, are not that revealing.
The core story, based on stories that Night tells his children, had more potential than what was expressed in Lady in the Water and we should all be grateful that he didn't pull a Rodriguez and let one of his 5 or 6 year olds write the script. For that I am thankful. Thank you Night for not venturing down that dark path, even though you probably considered it.
Truth be told Night is very lucky that the critics went as easily on them as they did for Night wrote in a silly pompous character that is something of a villain who happens to be a movie critic. What can I say, Night seems very much like someone who was spoiled as a child. What good will it do your image or career to have a film critic being ripped apart by a savage beast? Just bizarre behavior on Night's part. But if you want to see a bald, dorky film critic get eaten by a wolf-like thing then this is your film.
Paul Giamatti does a really good job as Cleveland and tries to carry the film. I can't help but wonder why he took the script. In short, Lady in the Water is, at times somewhat entertaining, but is overall slowly paced and cuts too many corners to justify its $65-$75 million dollar sticker. If Night is to ever return to his former glory, he is going to half to stop lashing out, stop acting like a child, start having some respect for his audience and get back to basics and hard work.
Story C- (Night's weakest offering to date does little to inspire.)
Acting B- (Giamatti and Howard both turn in strong performances but can not save a script that is just too weak and too self indulgent.)
Visuals C+ (Some of the creature effects are well done and entertaining but they are too far and few between to make the film truly entertaining.)
Originality/Innovation C- (If there is any striking originality I missed it.)
Enjoyability Grade C-
Home Theater/HD Factor C+
Overall Grade C- (Lady in the Water is not a horrible film. It is forgettable and at times a bit silly. My advice, rent it maybe, but probably just wait for cable, as this film closely borders on being bad.) |
