The Happening Movie Review
The Happening-What is This, Mystery Science 3000?
Ah, for the love of God, what is up with this guy? M. Night "Shamalammadingdong" is back at it again and the consequences are indeed quite, quite terrifying-but oh so funny. This movie is proof that once you are in the Hollywood Club there is very little you can do to get kicked out.
Years ago, Shamalammadingdong was one of my very favorite directors. I thought The Sixth Sense was great, I gave it an A in fact. I thought Unbreakable was underrated and showed some real potential for a cool and interesting sequel- a rare thing to be certain. Then came along Signs, which worried me as the film’s script was cheap and lazy and while worried, I thought Shamalammadingdong would bounce back. The Village didn’t exactly restore my faith in M. Night as I thought there were far too many logic errors to be ignored; yet, the film did limp along for a variety of reasons. Lady In The Water was pretty much slammed and I can’t say that I cared for it either, yet when compared to The Happening, well let’s just say that Signs, The Village and Lady In The Water, all seem like masterpieces.
The Happening is really something. Let me start off by saying that most of the people in the theater enjoyed the film. How do I know this? Did I poll them? No. I could tell from the nearly constant state of laughter and remarkably funny comments coming from the audience. I can almost guarantee that had Shamalammadingdong been in the audience he would quickly change his ways. The Happening may be the most unintentionally hilarious film I have ever seen in my life, or at the very least the most unintentionally hilarious big-budget film.
Here is the deal, the man can direct, but he doesn’t have any more scripts in him right now, maybe in 5-10 years but not now. M. Night, you are as tapped out as a keg at a frat house, give it a rest. The screening of The Happening I attended was more like living an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Every couple of minutes some would be Tom Servos would rip the film a “new one.” It was actually quite beautiful, like the Auroras Borealis or something. Normally when this kind of thing happens some people get upset. However, not in this film, as the stream of comments definitely made The Happening more enjoyable.
I don’t want to reveal the plot, what little there is of it, but here is a quick glimpse. People start killing themselves in mass numbers and without explanation. Once more, in true Shamalammadingdong fashion we follow a group of Average Joes, lead by Markie Mark, who plays a high-school science teacher. Now, to be fair, Wahlberg is okay as Elliot Moore, better than you would expect. For once, Wahlberg doesn’t come across as an insecure thug waiting to punch someone in the face with the slightest of provocation. Maybe someone clued him in that it is hard to build a long-term respected acting career around “angry, Bostonian thug.” Elliot’s girlfriend, Alma is played by Zooey Deschanel who is pretty flat and Elliot’s friend Julian is played by John Leguizamo, who if you haven’t seen him lately, well, you might be shocked as the man must be on a rapid aging diet or something. I hope he’s okay-seriously. Neither, Deschanel or Leguizamo deliver too much in the way of performances, but it’s really not their respective faults, as the script has precious little to work with. How so, you may ask? Well, much of The Happening is spent running around in the woods, hanging out on the side of the road or knocking around in an old house.
If you are expecting some intense end of the world action with lots of special and visual effects, well, look elsewhere. Again, this is a tough film to review without giving away what little interest it may hold for you. However, the essence is this-mystery suicide epidemic means run to the forest. This film is cheap, cheap, cheap. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw a “big budget action/horror extravaganza” that could be reproduced shot for shot as an independent film. Now, The Happening was an endeavor that cost over $60 million dollars. This is a completely ridiculous price tag for what was delivered to the studios, but it’s their own fault, as the studio executives should never have signed off on The Happening. In fact The Happening does such a bad job with its budget that it makes me feel a little guilt about some of the money wasters I have slammed in the past. Yes, the money was used that poorly. Most of The Happening feels like a poorly done episode of Stargate, complete with people running around in the woods, minus the Canadians.
Ah, but here is the real problem and it’s a “hum-dinger.” The Happening made money and lots of it. I, as a reviewer of films, as a reviewer who has reviewed nearly every film that Shamalammadingdong has ever made, will have to review his next film. As The Happening brought in over $150 million dollars we can be quite certain to see another film from M. Night who will, no doubt, feel emboldened by the financial success of The Happening. We will all suffer I fear. Maybe well all get lucky and M. Night will start cranking out remakes or films based on books, video games or Disney rides like the rest of the hacks. M. Night and Michael Bay team up for Transformers Meets The Hulk-oh why not?
Story D- (The script is god-awful stupid. Trust me on this one people; The Happening is moronic, which is very sad. I love part of the message that Shamalammadingdong is peddling in The Happening, I truly do. It is very unfortunate that he simply blew it and big time.)
Acting C+ (The acting is okay considering the raging stupidity of the script.)
Visuals C (There are a few brief, gruesome yet visually engaging moments.)
Originality/Innovation D- (What tiny amounts of originality that are hiding in the script are essentially overshadowed by its epic stupidity.)
Enjoyability Grade A (This is a can’t miss movie. No this previous statement is not a typo nor is it a cut and paste mistake, as The Happening is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. As I mentioned previously, the entire theater was laughing, sorry M. Night, but The Happening makes Lady In The Water look like The Godfather in comparison.)
Home Theater/HD Factor B- (Shamalammadingdong can direct, he has the ability to find good shots and frame them well. He’s usually pretty consistent with his direction. Now, if we could just get him to put down the pen. Put down the pen M. Night-no keyboards either. Just back away.)
Overall Grade D-/A (Taken seriously, this film is a D-, however, if you go into The Happening embracing the fact that it is really a comedy, then you will have a great time.)
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