The Bodyguard-At Least Its Not My Big Fat Greek Con Job
The universe works in mysterious ways. Kids believe it or not there was a time, in most of our lifetimes, that Whitney Houston was kinda of hot. No seriously, she was a pretty good looking woman. Often it is the ravages of time that erode the fresh beauty of youth, other times people embark on accelerated plans, if you get my drift and that is sad stuff. I know that this doesn’t seem much like a review or commentary as of yet, but in a way it is. Truly what could be sadder than working hard to build up a reputation and create a body of work, whether as a actor, director or singer, only to flush it down the drain. Take your vitamins kids and don’t do drugs. Oh great now you think I’m like 50 don’t you? I’m not, I’m older.
The Bodyguard is painful, its just a silly, pointlessly bad film, unworthy of Costner after his Dances With Wolves, Bull Durham and JFK success. So if you were one of the lucky ones that has missed this film, here is what is in store for you, that is if you do not heed my warning. Costner plays a former government agent who gets hired to guard a famous singer, Houston-real stretch there huh? And shocker of shockers, they fall in love, ahhh. Yeah, its dumb, but there are far worse “chick flicks” unsuspecting frat boys could be forced to see, such as My Big Fat Greek Con Job. Far more painful.
Truthfully, Houston should have stayed with the singing, as acting just wasn’t her thing. Saying someone is no J-Lo, well now, that says it all. Although, perhaps I am biased here, because her singing wasn’t all that great either, it was usually just a sequence of snarls and screams, but whatever. This casting is one reason that the film sucks, but it is also a big reason this turkey pulled in somewhere around $400 million dollars.
Director Mick Jackson does a good job with the film, that is once he made his fatal mistake of taking the job. The Bodyguard is predictable, unrealistic, silly and truly little more than a vehicle for launching Houston into the world of acting. Big mistake, as she mostly seems to be playing herself.
The success of the film is no great mystery: high star power, a date movie that men were essentially forced to attend much like the Rutan Death March, and lots of promotion. In short, it was a con job, just like My Big Greek Con Job, only this con job is far less painful.
Story F
Acting D
Visuals C
Originality/Innovation F
Enjoyability Grade F
Home Theater/HD Factor C
Overall Grade D- (The fact that My Big Fat Greek Con Job exists keeps this film from being an F.)
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