Watchmen (2009)
Directed by Zack Snyder
Screenplay by David Hayter and Alex Tse
Graphic novel written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons
Primary Cast
Malin Akerman as Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II
Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan / Jon Osterman
Matthew Goode as Adrian Veidt / Ozymandias
Jackie Earle Haley as Walter Kovacs / Rorschach
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Edward Blake / The Comedian
Patrick Wilson as Dan Dreiberg / Nite Owl II
Carla Gugino as Sally Jupiter / Silk Spectre
Matt Frewer as Edgar Jacobi / Moloch the Mystic
Stephen McHattie as Hollis Mason / Nite Owl
I was rendered slack-jawed for the entire 162 minute session.
I’m just going to cut right to the chase here; Watchmen is quite possibly the greatest action film I’ve ever seen. It’s also quite possibly the greatest film adaptation of a graphic novel or comic book mini-series I’ve ever seen.
This film is many things that fall into the category of great or greatest, but at its core, Watchmen is a rich, textured story that offers delicious contradictions and uncompromising stark depictions of the dualistic nature of humanity… except it’s about costumed crime-fighters. I know, kinda wacky, right?
Watchmen is so understatedly splendiferous and magnificently written, that I feel compelled to bestow four and five-syllable accolades at Alan Moore’s feet because my inferior writing skills can’t come up with any six-syllable ones. I’m simply not worthy of Watchmen. I’m only slightly cognizant of the fact that I’m gushing like a schoolgirl at a Justin Timberlake concert, and I don’t care.
I now understand why many contemporary writers consider Watchmen as a form of writer’s Mecca. Prior to the film, I ignored rave reviews from my peers when the comic book series was released in the mid-80’s because it didn’t feature any recognizable heroes. In a sense, viewing the film before reading the comic might have been just the punch in the mouth I needed to fully appreciate the writing.
Watchmen chronicles an alternate reality where the U.S. won the Vietnam War, Nixon was elected to his fourth term as U.S. President, the cold-war looms and threatens to spark Armageddon at the sneeze of a naked, blue, and possibly radioactive superhuman freak, and costumed crime-fighters are commonplace, but not necessarily a good thing. Public outcry has driven the masked heroes to either reveal themselves and work for the government, or retire quietly. A few have opted to ignore the government and continue to fight crime illegally, and are themselves viewed as criminals.
I’ve said and I’ll say again, I don’t indulge nor do I advocate illicit drug use, but I could smoke pounds of weed or lick a psychotropic toad while eating donuts powdered with angel-dust and still never come up with such a bizarre scenario that works as well as this one.
The film begins with the murder of a costumed crime-fighter and government agent called The Comedian, and costumed vigilante Rorschach’s unofficial and illegal investigation to bring the murderer to justice. When Rorschach suspects a plot to eliminate masked heroes, he calls on each of his former colleagues to warn them. Rorschach’s warnings are widely dismissed, so he presses on alone. Rorschach’s suspicions of conspiracy are systematically confirmed, but its true nature is much more horrific than simply knocking off a few former masked heroes.
I’ve gushed over the stellar writing, but film as a whole is a layered smorgasbord of genius. With the story as a solid foundation, the visuals, acting, and especially the musical score combine to paint a dark, somber image that stops just short of eliminating all sense of hope, leaving a ray of light for the viewer to fixate on. This singular fixation keeps the audience on the edge of their seat, wondering what might happen next.
It’s interesting how I keep returning to the greatest gift of Watchmen as a film; it’s inevitable, ill-fated, yet maddeningly unpredictable story. In the film, Dr. Manhattan (the naked, blue, omnipotent, and possibly radioactive superhuman freak mentioned previously) once mentioned his almost forgotten excitement of not knowing the outcome of things, the delights of uncertainty, even when facing a potentially bleak future.
In a nutshell, that’s how I feel about this film. In an era of mind-numbingly predictable and soul-suckingly formulamatic films, Watchmen is proof that original, fresh storytelling is still possible and… wait… what? How can something be fresh and original if it’s a remake of a graphic novel written over two decades ago? Shut up! Dude, it’s Hollywood! In Hollywood, any film ending that I can’t predict is a welcome one.
Besides, I never read it, so it’s new to me, dammit!
The Grades
Story: Splendiferous! Magnanimous! Spontaneous Orgasmatronicanacious! Grade: A+
Acting: Surprisingly competent, given the low star-power. This cast of new faces easily eclipses those of the original Star Wars film without the potential stigma of being type-casted, since there will be no sequels. (I certainly hope that no one is stupid or greedy enough to try penning a sequel to this. Someone hogtie Michael Bay!) Grade: A
Visuals: This is the weakest element, which isn’t necessarily a knock against visuals as much as it’s another nod to the story. Good visuals, but if they had been on-par with the story, my central nervous system would have shut down. Grade: B+
Originality/Innovation: Frankly, I’ve always hated judging the originality of a screen-adaptation of another media. It feels as if I’m insulting my own intelligence. Let’s just say that I didn’t predict the ending, which from what I’ve heard about the graphic novel, makes more sense than the novel’s actual ending. Grade: B+
Enjoyability Grade: Dude… seriously… I’m not worthy. Grade: A+
Date Material: Geek date approved. Action-film date approved. Gratuitous violence. Not for the squeamish, but if you sat through Sin City (I couldn’t) this is Disney by comparison.
Contemporary Element (Will it be watchable two decades from now?): Grade: A
Redeeming Quality: NA
Overall Grade: A
***
Blind Eye Turning: Poems, Prose, and other Scribbles, by Barry Dawson
Buy it at www.lulu.com
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