9 Movie Review (film)
Directed by Shane Acker
Writing credits
Pamela Pettler (screenplay)
Shane Acker (story)
Voice Talent
Christopher Plummer as #1
Martin Landau as #2
John C. Reilly as #5
Crispin Glover as #6
Jennifer Connelly as #7
Fred Tatasciore as #8 / Radio Announcer
Elijah Wood as #9
Alan Oppenheimer as The Scientist
The film 9 is a visual marvel with an intriguing, but ultimately thin story. It’s really cool eye-candy that hints on being much more beneath the surface, but once the viewer starts digging, there is very little depth to be found. It’s the Tyra Banks of CGI animation.
The theme is a familiar one; artificial intelligence becomes sentient, leading to the rise of the machines, and the extinction of mankind. In other words, it’s right up our resident film critic, The Robot’s alley. While this storyline has been done to death in science fiction -- culminating in the bloodthirsty, renegade Terminator cyborgs with pectoral muscles the size of cinderblocks and thick Austrian accents -- this film takes a clever twist and introduces an intriguing new element; small ragdolls infused with human souls (I know it’s a stretch, but it’s an animated film. Anything is possible with CGI, LSD, and a handful of Percocets. Of course, I’d never advocate drug abuse.)
A brilliant scientist creates a sophisticated fabrication machine in a misguided effort to aid his country’s collapsing economy and national product. The totalitarian state (eerily resembling the Third Reich of the 1930’s and 40’s) seizes the machine and forces it to build-up their military and wage war on other nations. At some point during the eradication of foreign enemies, the fab-machine becomes sentient and decides, “Screw it. Why discriminate? I think I’ll just go ahead and kill all the humans, the dogs, the cats, the ferrets, I mean… why limit myself?”
Just before humanity exits the stage, the scientist creates nine ragdolls, and uses a special talisman he created to infuse part of his soul into each of them. A distinct human trait is manifested in each doll. As best as I can comprehend, 1 is wisdom, 2 is generosity of spirit, 3 and 4 (twins) are data collectors (or accumulated knowledge), 5 is the nurturer, 6 is the artist (or introspection), 7 is the warrior (unyielding resolve), 8 is vice, or the mischief-maker (he frequently bullies the others, especially 6, but is a loyal protector of 1, and can be seen “getting high” with the aid of a magnet), and 9 is curiosity and purity. That’s the way I saw it, anyway. For all I know, my pain-med prescription could be similar to the film’s writer.
Though the visuals were surreal, jaw-dropping, and overall well-done, the subject-matter was a bit too heady for what the story offered. I would have liked to have seen more of a connection between the fall of humanity and the dolls taking on the burden of moving forward. I find it astounding that the extermination of humanity was glossed over in flashbacks, as if to say, “Oh yeah, by the way, everybody who is anybody on the entire planet is dead, but that’s not really relevant to the current plot. Now watch these dolls kick those machine’s metal asses!” What? Wait a sec… what the hell just happened?
My wife’s assessment was a bit more colorful; “This is a total mind-f#@k. I don’t understand anything that’s happening, and I don’t like this movie.” While I don’t completely agree with her, I was definitely disappointed with the lack of depth.
The Grades
Story: While intriguing in concept, the applied story was nothing but skin-n-bones. I desperately wanted more. Grade: D+
Acting: Bravo to the entire ensemble. Grade: A
Visuals: Absolutely stunning. Grade: A
Originality/Innovation: As unique a take on machines destroying humanity that can be imagined, considering that the plot of machines overtaking humanity is a tired genre that’s been done to death. I’ve seen many a machine conquer humanity, and not once have I thought, “But what if we gave ragdolls souls and sent them to fight and carry on our legacy?” That’s the kind of idea that can only be conceived in a Nyquil-induced semi-coma. I tip my hat to you, writers. Grade: A-
Enjoyability Grade: It was a fun ride that kept my attention for the duration. Grade: B+
Date Material: Meh. Hit-or-miss. My wife just sat there, scowled a lot, and threatened to take a nap and snore loudly if I rejected her demand to walk out on the film. What can I say? It’s not for everybody. Chase it with the film Coraline and a night cap to smooth things over. Grade C-
Contemporary Element (Will it be watchable two decades from now?): If this were on TBS late at night, I’d probably watch it. Grade: B
Redeeming Quality: NA
Overall Grade: C+
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